My son, William, just turned 17. Happy Birthday, William.
I have to wish him Happy Birthday here because his mother has done everything she can to block me from seeing my kids (in violation of our divorce order).
In 1987 I got married and after a few years we adopted 3 kids – Laura, Christopher, and William. Things didn’t go well, and we got divorced in late 2008.
I haven’t been able to spend any time with Christopher or William since June 2009, because of my ex. I won’t go in to detail, because every time I talk about it, the wounds are re-opened.
Parental Alienation — where one parent turns the kids against the other parent for no justifiable reason — is what my kids have been subjected to. It has meant that I’ve lost the last 9 Christmases and the last 9 birthdays with each of my sons.
What happened to me shouldn’t have happened. It was in violation of the court order. I was paying spousal support (alimony) and child support for three children, and that took 50% of my take home pay. I had to use the other half to live on. That left no money to pay for a lawyer, and without a lawyer I couldn’t take show a judge what was happening.
I’m not the only parent that this has happened to. It’s happened to both mothers and fathers all across the country, where one parent turns the kids against the other parent. It’s happened, and the courts either turn a blind eye or they say that they will not do anything to help. It’s happened, and the police (who are empowered to step in and enforce the court order) say that they will not do that.
Something has to change.
I won’t be able to get back the last 10 years with my kids. Their childhood; their developing years; their triumphs; the hard lessons that they’ve had to learn; their loves; their losses — all are missing from my past.
And for now I’ve got another Christmas where I don’t celebrate it with my sons.
I have to do something to make sure that what happened to me doesn’t happen to others.